Do you watch porn? Why?
People often come to me with insecurity: “Is pornography good for me?”, “Does porn have anything to do with my dissatisfaction in life or sex?”, “Am I addicted?”
In recent years, the NoFap movement has brought the side effects of pornography consumption into focus: depression, difficulties with erections and orgasms, addiction.
If porn is so harmful, why do we watch it? Or why is it so hard to stop?
I think it would be too easy to blame it solely on its addictive potential. Let’s take a closer look!
At the end of this post, I’ll share a set of reflection questions to help you find your own answers about the role pornography plays in your life.
Porn Can Be Addictive
Yes, pornography can be addictive. A sexual stimulus triggers the release of dopamine in our brain. Our brain then says: That feels good—more, please! And ideally as often as possible. Internet pornography offers very strong stimuli that are available anytime.
When we are addicted, we can no longer control whether we respond to these stimuli or not.
It can then seem like there’s no real reason behind our actions anymore. As if our desire has us in its grip. We watch porn even when we’ve decided not to anymore. Or when we already feel that it’s doing more harm than good.
It does make sense to be aware of this addictive effect.
Porn Fulfills Our Needs
But if we look only at porn’s addictive potential, we miss the fact that pornography consumption also meets a number of real needs.
There are good reasons why we watch porn.
And it’s worth looking into those. When you understand your own reasons for watching porn, you gain agency. You can then:
- Gain more clarity about your sexual needs
- Acknowledge and appreciate your needs; let go of shame and uncertainty
- Make an empowered and nuanced decision about whether porn belongs in your life
- Discover ways to care for your needs without pornography
Here you can find a list of 42 questions to spark your thoughts: Why do you watch porn?