Quieting your Mind during Sex
Do you wonder how you can quiet your mind and let go during sex? Then I invite you to a sex counseling or Sexological Bodywork session. With erotic mindfulness, you can cultivate a strong connection to your pleasure body.
Sex, Trance and Control
Great sex can feel like a trance: our senses are awakened, we drop into the moment. Our bodies flow—at times softly and relaxed, other times vastly and intensely. We let go a bit of control and allow things to unfold.
But unfortunately, it’s not always easy to truly switch off during sex.
The mind watches, analyzes, stays in control. Maybe we’re caught up in daily stress. Maybe we’re too focused on our partners pleasure to be connected to our own pleasure.
Book an appointmentWhen we drop out of pleasure…
Sometimes, erotic moments start off beautifully. We feel comfortable with person next to us, there’s time and space, kissing tingles through our whole body and makes us yearn for more. And then suddenly—we hit a point where we pleasure seems to slip away.
Maybe we find ourselves no longer fully present. Maybe our bodies or genitals tense up or shut down, or we lose our erection. Possibly we feel all our pleasure, but somehow can’t reach orgasm. Something seems blocked.
Sex Is Complicated:
Between Perfectionism, Fear and Shame
Not being able to stay connected to your pleasure during sex can feel frustrating and confusing. The causes are varied and often complex:
- We all carry our own personal history of love, sex and desire. Some experiences were beautiful, others wounding.
- Our society favors rational thinking. There’s no curriculum for pleasure, desire, emotional connection or embodied awareness.
- In partiarchy, sexuality carries fears—the fears of having my boundaries crossed or of crossing someone else’s boundaries.
- Media and pornography shape our expectations, our body images and the shame we might feel during sex.
- Our bodies are expected to express themselves only in very specific, socially approved situations.
Betty Martin mentions our “pleasure ceiling”: the point where our pleasure can become so intense that it makes us uncomfortable. A voice inside calls out, “Careful!”—and we leap out of our desire. Our body shuts down, our mind wanders off to distractions or worries.
We all have a pleasure ceiling. It shows up differently for each of us, in different situations and at different intensities.
Book an appointment„Desire is like a spring whose source is deep in the earth. Its nature is to rise up to the surface. You can’t demand that it show up, but you can make room for it.“
–Betty Martin
My Offer: Sex Counseling and Sexological Bodywork
Being present and creating more space for your pleasure is a practice. In my sessions, I am happy to support you to make room under that pleasure ceiling of yours.
Together, we can get curious about your ceiling:
- When does it show up?
- Where does it come from?
- What does it want or need?
Becoming curious about our distractions is often the first step that will show us the way.
And we begin to find what feels truly good to you.
How does the state of letting go feel like in your body? Where in your body does pleasure have a home? What kinds of touch arouse that pleasure?
Erotic mindfulness takes you where you want to go: out of past stories, and into the richness of the present moment. For a sensuality that you can surrender into.
Book an appointment