Sexuality and Depression
Do you live with depression? And does your sexuality play a significant role in your life and experiences? My work as a sex therapist focuses particularly on supporting people for whom depression and sexuality are closely intertwined.
Sexuality often remains unspoken even in psychotherapy
Psychotherapy can be a valuable resource for people with depression. However, it can be challenging to talk about sexual needs and problems in therapy sessions. Often, the focus is more on day-to-day experiences or early childhood issues.
Sometimes, psychotherapists tend to interpret sexual challenges mainly through other areas of life. They may also bring in their own values or feelings of shame around sexual topics, which can limit what feels safe or acceptable to talk about.
As a result, people whose depression is closely tied to their sexual experience can find themselves feeling alone with their sexuality and —even in therapy— without anyone to speak to openly.
„Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. Sexual health, when viewed affirmatively, requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.“
Definition Sexual Health, WHO
How depression can affect sexuality
Depression can lead to sexual challenges: low libido, erectile difficulties (“erectile dysfunction”), or trouble reaching orgasm are common symptoms.
These issues may stem directly from the depression or arise as side effects of medication. Sexual arousal often thrives in environments of safety and self-confidence—something that people with depression may struggle with, due to uncertainty, self-doubt, or low self-esteem.
The body might feel numb, heavy, or disconnected from pleasure. Depression can also lead to social withdrawal or be a burden for intimate partnerships.
How sexual challenges can contribute to depression
On the other hand, unmet sexual needs can themselves lead to depression. This can happen when sexual desires remain consistently unfulfilled. You may have experienced frequent rejection, ghosting, or relationships that never worked out. The joy of feeling desired is not equally distributed to everyone in our society.
Structural violence and discrimination continue to create environments where only certain gender identities and forms of desire are accepted. Internalized shame about one’s sexual identity, fear of stigma, or shame about particular kinks can isolate people sexually.
How sexuality and depression can become intertwined
If you live with depression and your sexuality plays an important role in this, you may be experiencing:
- You feel alone with your sexual desires and fantasies
- You experience your sexual needs very strongly and it seems impossible to fulfill them
- You are struggling with the belief that you are not desirable
- Your sexual needs cause a significant amount of pressure in your relationships. Intimate connections never seem to work out.
- Using pornography is often a last retreat against a general feeling of low motivation
Sex therapy and Sexological Bodywork for people with depression
I invite you to dedicate your sexuality its own space in my sex therapy sessions. As a sexological bodyworker and licensed Heilpraktiker, I’ve worked for many years in the field of sexuality. Together, we can:
- listen to, understand, and appreciate your sexual needs
- understand what’s standing in the way of fulfilling your needs, and how to move closer
- learn how to communicate your needs to others
- find ways to feel more safe and self-assured
- discover your body’s capacity for pleasure and self-regulation (mindfulness practice)
My sessions do not aim to treat your depression, but to talk about your sexual concerns and help you to reconnect with your bodily experience. This can be a valuable complement to regular psychotherapy.
My work is not suitable for times of acute, severe depressive episodes—but it is here for your life with depression.