Feeling Safe with Sex
Has your sexuality been shaped by difficult experiences of the past and to think about sexual moments makes you feel uneasy? Do you wish, for once, to experience your sexuality in a natural lightness?
Sexological Bodywork supports you in feeling safe in your body and reclaiming your sexuality.
Experiences that make sexuality feel threatening
For some people, their sexual history is mostly shaped by positive experiences in a safe environment. For others amongst us, a safe environment in their sexuality was unfortunately not always the unbroken reality that it should have been. This can be due to different experiences:
- Other people did not respect our boundaries; we experienced sexualized violence.
- Our sexual identity was burdened with shame, morality, discrimination or punishment.
- Pleasure always seemed to be for others. To this day, no one has asked what we enjoy.
- We live with chronic pain, and any wrong movement can quickly turn a beautiful moment into a painful one.
When you can’t trust sensual moments
If you feel mostly unsafe—or even threatened—in sexual moments, it might be hard to enjoy sexual experiences or fully surrender to your pleasure. You may experience physical trigger reactions like sudden fear, flashbacks, numbness or dissociation. Maybe you constantly feel uncomfortable and require a lot of caution before opening up to a physical encounter. Sometimes, your body sounds the alarm even when you believe you’re safe and with someone you like to trust.
It’s hard to find a true sense of inner safety when every new sexual encounter brings new vulnerability. Some people find their way by not entering intimate encounters. Others gain control and find support from a partner who is very considerate and careful.
How wonderful when that’s possible! But sometimes, the desire remains—to experience sexuality as something light and natural, and to be able to let go of control.
Book a sessionHow you can feel safe(r) during sex
Lightness becomes possible when your body can repeatedly experience and understand that sexual moments can feel beautiful and pleasurable. Your body learns to feel safe. This learning can be supported in many ways:
- You learn what setting helps you feel safe and relaxed.
- You learn to notice your body’s signals and regulate your nervous system.
- You learn how to handle trigger reactions so you do not have to fear them any longer.
- You experience setting boundaries and saying no—and being celebrated for it.
- You discover what feels good for your body and what your needs are during sex.
- One day, you learn to take a brave leap—and slowly let go of control in a controlled way.
How Sexological Bodywork can support you feeling safe(r) in your body
With Sexological Bodywork, I want to offer you a space where you can safely connect with the felt sense of your body and have new, nurturing experiences. Sexological Bodywork is guided by a foundation especially suited for this:
- Self-determination: We co-create the session. Your needs and wishes are our most important guides.
- Communication: Every step is communicated and you’ll have space to express your needs.
- Somatic Work: Change becomes possible through embodied experience.
- Support: Every beginning is difficult, and I’m here to support you.
- Predictable Touch: Your body may experience receiving touch that is communicated and paced down.
- Ethics: The professional ethics of Sexological Bodywork offer clear guidelines to protect you as a client.
Working with touch is optional—sessions without touch are always possible. Sexological Bodywork is not trauma therapy, but trauma-informed: It doesn’t heal trauma, but trigger reactions can be recognized and safely held.
You can read more about Sexological Bodywork here.
If you feel curious about my support and you notice it brings some nervousness, too, that’s wonderful! Right here, we can listen to what you need to feel more safe. Let’s slow things down and talk about it.